The Mercy of Consistency
October 2020
Each night I fall asleep feeling each part of my back firm against the mattress beneath. Here soon I will feel the same back, firm against a different mattress, in a new country across the world.
I lavish in this thought.
I love the idea that there is consistency in the inconsistent.
In the morning as the world begins to slowly move and the sun begins to warm; when the quietness quakes, I feel gentleness stir. Peace often accompanies the silence as I remember the goodness of yesterday and the mercy of today.
And in the afternoon, when I feel my rosy cheeks as the sun shines bright and I feel the breeze wrestle within the trees, I feel joy.
In Colorado, no matter how cold it gets, I can expect 300 bright and sunny days of sunshine.
As my dad would always tell me,
the sun will always come up in the morning.
Sunlight is beautiful. It is a gentle reminder of our place in the galaxy; a small piece of warmth that helps to grow and nourish all things living. It is consistent.
In Colorado, daylight hours range from 11 hours to 13 hours 16 minutes. That is two hours and 16 minutes of difference throughout 365 days!
In Uganda, daylight hours range from 12 hours 6 minutes to 12 hours 8 minutes throughout the year. Talk about consistency. Even though most days are often filled with rain and thunder storms, the daylight remains.
As I reflect back on the last eight months I see consistency - not just simply in the sunrise and sunshine, but in the complexities of life.
Amidst the unknowns and around every corner there were blessings. And with the blessings, there was mercy. And mercy, new every morning. And God, steadfast and consistent.
The true consistency, whether simple or complex, is Jesus. In the glimpses of consistency I experienced within the last eight months, I knew His was the sweetest. I knew it indeed was not the blessings themselves that tasted of goodness and ease, but rather it was Him.
My God is the God of right now and the God of soon. He is the God of here and the God of there; God of the known and the unknown. He is God over the early and the late. He is greater than my perception of time and place. I knew that He would be the same God to me in Uganda as He is to me today.
The Consistency of Mercy
November 2020
Now it happened as they journeyed on the road, that someone said to Him, “Lord, I will follow You wherever You go.”
And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.”
Then He said to another, “Follow Me.”
But he said, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.”
Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and preach the kingdom of God.”
And another also said, “Lord, I will follow You, but let me first go and bid them farewell who are at my house.”
But Jesus said to him, “No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.”
Luke 9:57-62
From the first time I read through the Gospel accounts, I always wondered what I would have done. . .
If Jesus called me to go, would I go? Would I say yes? At any cost?
I had anticipated leaving for Uganda after Christmas, perhaps even in January. I was quickly met with the reality that in order to go, I may have to leave before Christmas. If my chance to go was to leave before Christmas, before borders begin to close and restrictions tighten as a result of COVID, would I take it? As I met the reality of leaving earlier than expected with tension, I quickly realized my wonderings had become my reality.
It wasn't a question of whether I would go or whether I had been called to go, it was a question of if I would absolutely trust and surrender my life to the Lord and His timing.
Again and again in the Gospel accounts of Jesus, Jesus calls and we see two responses:
Those who drop everything to follow Him, in the moment He calls.
Those who want to go, and in fact probably would go, but they want it in their own timing. They want to say goodbye. They need to prepare to go. They need time. They aren't quite ready.
As I laid down that night, firm on my back, I considered this reality.
Would I go before I felt ready? Would I go without much, if any, time to say goodbye?
In these questions and in the heart behind them, I felt the Spirit of conviction. The time was now and, out of the Lord's grace, I got to choose.
Would I surrender? Would I pick up my cross and go?
I wanted to say yes, but how?
I knew only one way - to recognize my own wants and desires, to reconcile them to Jesus, to accept grace offered through Jesus, and to choose.
Jesus called. Yes I would go. Yes I would leave without goodbyes. Yes I would leave before I was ready. Yes I would leave and miss Christmas with my family. And truly, it was not because of my own want or will. It was because I was given the grace enough to choose and say yes. This was placed in front of me - this beautiful and miraculous opportunity to go and serve; to love others in the way that I have been loved; to share the Good News of forgiveness and everlasting Love.
After processing this reality, I anticipated going the following week. Perhaps getting Thanksgiving with my family, but leaving soon after. To my great surprise, it was in this anticipation the Lord's mercy soaked in. I am leaving on December 18th. Yes, sooner than expected and before Christmas, but I get time. This is His mercy. And my goodness, how it is a consistent mercy.
And, in the Lord's mercy, He has offered peace and sustenance to me and to those I love. The reality of leaving sooner than expected, in a world of unknowns, was met with grace and consideration. The people I love have selflessly given me to go, knowing this calling to be true and wholesome.
Oh what a story it is. And it has just begun.
God is a God of love.
God is a God of complexity.
God is a God of faithfulness.
God is a God who gives good gifts.
God is a God who lingers in silence.
God is a God of gentleness.
God is a God who sees.
God is a God who has made me to laugh.
God is a God of deliverance.
God is a God who provides.
God is a God not bound by time or place.
nmh · 2017
Comments